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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27777580">Cabin Birthday</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tintentrinkerin/pseuds/Tintentrinkerin'>Tintentrinkerin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>300 follower celebration on tumblr [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Slight Dark Theme, Underage Kissing, cabin in the woods haha, slight angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:08:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,855</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27777580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tintentrinkerin/pseuds/Tintentrinkerin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dean, how does kissing feel like?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Weecest - Relationship, Wincest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>300 follower celebration on tumblr [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cabin Birthday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is for all-4-wincest on tumblr.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dean, how does kissing feel like?”<br/>Dean freezes. He just took out the Winchester Surprise out of the oven for him and Sam to eat. It’s Sam’s fifteenth birthday today and Dean tries to make it as good as possible. Dad’s gone again, ditched them in a cabin deep in the woods. They’ve been alone for days already. </p><p>Sam’s birthday is close to Beltane, a witch sabbat, of course dad is hunting. He’s always hunting when little Sammy turns a year older. <br/>“Mh, Sammy, that depends on a lot of things.” Dean turns around, carrying the steaming hot casserole to the table. He feels nervous somehow, that Sam asked him this question. It’s an easy question, easier to answer than Sam’s latest question why he sometimes wakes up and ‘wetted’ his boxerbriefs. <br/>But Dean has to give Sam the Talk, because no one else does and he tries to be as competent, rational and not embarrassed as possible. Sam had seen him with girls already and that even made it worse. The questions. The whys. The hows. </p><p>And that Dean has an aching in his chest, for his brother, that just won’t go away.<br/>“On what, Dean? Please tell me.” Sam’s cuddled up on the couch, staring on the old grainy TV screen. The series is muted. He’s looking at Dean with big, curious eyes.<br/>Dean shows him to sit down at the table. <br/>“Come here, eat something and I’ll tell you, okay?”</p><p>Sam nods. Gets up and takes a seat at the table. His stomach is grumbling, Dean can hear it very clearly. Sometimes Sammy has troubles with eating, when he’s stressed or in a bad place emotionally. Dean notices so much but he feels like he never does the right thing. He never does it right. Sam is still not eating. Sam is still crying at night sometimes. He’s still cuddling up in Dean’s bed when he had a bad dream. </p><p>Dean sighs and fills Sam’s plate. “Eat, please. I promise you I’ll tell you everything you want when you finish lunch. And I have a gift for you, too.” </p><p>Dean smiles at Sam and Sam smiles back. It’s a clouded smile and it’s gnawing on Dean’s heart. He’s been rioting, rebelling for years himself, but Sam is different. He’s calm, he’s sad, he’s somehow dark sometimes. He’s often not here. Like he’s daydreaming. But worse. Far away.</p><p>“Just because you ask me to”, Sam says. <br/>Lately Sam started growing the first facial hair, so far it’s still soft and blonde and patchy, but Dean had shown him already how to shave. Sam doesn’t seem to like what’s happening to his body during puberty. Dean hated it at first, too. </p><p>They finish their meal in silence, because Dean doesn’t know what to say, but when Sam takes the last spoon full of the Winchester surprise he keeps his promise. </p><p>“So, kissing, Sammy. I wonder you haven’t done it already. The girl at school, Linda?, she seemed to like you.” </p><p>Dean has indeed watched his brother and Linda way too closely. How she gave him this adoring glance, playing with her hair, laughing a little too loud, a little too long. Brushing Sam’s hand with hers. And Dean feels a raging jealousy when she does. And Sam smiles at her. </p><p>“Yes, she does”, Sam replies, but he doesn’t look happy about it. “But I don’t want to kiss her.”</p><p>He looks up and his hazel eyes burn holes in Deans face. </p><p>“Why not?” Dean asks, standing up and clearing the table. He puts everything in the sink and the rest of the casserole is put in the fridge. <br/>“I don’t think I like her how she likes me, you know?” Sam sounds guilty.</p><p>“Yes, I totally get that. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. That’s one thing about love and the whole thing with, you know, being intimate with each other.”<br/>When Sam’s not looking, Dean sips a beer. He’s old enough to drink but it’s barely late today and John told him not to drink in Sam’s presence. <br/>But John drank so much himself and he never gives a fuck who’s there. If Sammy’s up, if Dean’s out and gone, and who of his brothers finds him laying in a puddle of booze or - worse - his own vomit.</p><p>“Dee, how does kissing feel then?”</p><p>Dean sighs and sits down at the sofa. “Come ‘ere, Sammy I’ll tell you.”</p><p>Sam accompanies him on the couch. He cuddles up again in his blanket. It’s still a bit chill somedays in May and they’re quite far up north. Dean considers to light the fireplace. “Shall I make it warm for us?”<br/>Sam nods. “Yes, Dee. I’m a bit cold.”</p><p>Dean likes being the man in charge, looking for his baby brother. That’s his purpose he thinks. Nothing else matters but Sammy. And that Sammy is safe. And he will always be as long as Dean is alive. Even if being safe just means lighting some wood and make Sam feel warm. </p><p>It doesn’t take long for the flames to linger and warmth fills the tiny cabin. </p><p>“Kissing, Sammy. I think it depends on who you kiss. I imagine that, when you kiss Linda and you don’t like her that much, it won’t give you anything. But with a person you’re in love with or that, you know… makes you feel very hot and bothered, we talked about that, right? When someone drives you crazy already and then you kiss… you will feel like <em>melting</em>. It feels like hot jolts down your body, actually also cold. Both at the same time. It will feel amazing and breathtaking and you don’t want to stop ever again.” <br/>Dean turns around to Sam who’s looking right in the flames, cheeks red and lips slightly parted. He looks like he’s daydreaming again. </p><p>“You heard me?” Dean asks.</p><p>Sam nods. Slowly. </p><p>“Yah, sorry, I just imagined it.” Sam tilts his head. “Dean, I want to try beer.”</p><p>Dean frowns. “No way, Sammy. You’re too young for that and you know.”</p><p>Sam’s glance shifts from the fireplace to Dean and suddenly he looks way older than sweet 15. Dean gulps. </p><p>“You started drinking when you were 13 years old, Dean.” </p><p>Dean knew Sam had noticed it. And he wasn’t exactly proud of it. He was a bad influence and an even worse example. </p><p>“That’s true, but you know it also got me in a lot of trouble, too.”</p><p>Sam’s eyes narrow. “But I’m here with you and I’m not asking you to help me do some funnel drinking. I just want to know why you and dad like it so much.” <br/>Dean gives in and hands Sam his can of beer that’s almost empty anyway. </p><p>Sam takes a sip and he obviously hates it because he frowns and then swallows with a disgusted look on his face.<br/>“That’s disgusting.” He says and hands Dean the can. </p><p>“We don’t drink it because it’s so delicious, we drink it to make the world less… sharp. Less edges. Less hurt.”</p><p>Dean falls silent immediately. That sounds way too serious to tell Sam. </p><p>“Sorry, that was a bit depressing.” </p><p>Sam just laughs. He’s a teenager, he probably understands anyway. </p><p>Then he leans onto Dean’s shoulder. Dean feels the jolt he just described to Sam and it’s good and bad and wrong and the only thing that makes Dean happy. And feel loved. Then Sam’s hand reaches for Dean’s and they hold each other for a moment. It’s still silent in here, only the cracking of the fireplace makes noise. It feels romantic, this moment. It shouldn’t. </p><p>“You feel it, too. Dee? Please tell me you feel it right now…” Sam’s voice is soft but so brutal at the same time. <br/>Dean breathes in and out. “What do you feel, Sam?”</p><p>And Sam sighs. Loudly and painful. “Look at me.”</p><p>There’s no saying ‘no’ for Dean right now. He turns around and sees in his brother’s deep and quiet eyes. <br/>Sam’s so close now, he can smell the bitter taste of beer in Sam’s breath, sees the spreckles in his hazel eyes. His body heat. Dean’s heart is racing and he feels the jolt of heat and ice running up and down his spine, he can feel the tickling in his arms, like electricity. </p><p>He wants to say “no, please, Sam, don’t make me do it.” but all he manages is a weak “Sammy…” before he kisses his brother’s lips. </p><p>It’s an instant firework around them, inside them, something ignited and is going off at full power, full speed. Burning hot and consuming them. Sam is shy and his lips are trembling when Dean presses his lips on Sam’s, harder. Just a little. And then Sam swings his leg over Dean, sitting on his lap now. </p><p>“No, no, Sammy,... don’t…” Dean whispers. It feels like the worst lie he’s ever told.</p><p>“Dee, please”, Sam breathes against Dean’s hot lips. “I want to know… I need to know…”<br/>The world turns upside down. Inside out. And Dean’s arms pull Sammy, his Sammy, closer, kissing him again, this time he can’t hold back his tongue carefully sliding in the other’s mouth. </p><p>Sam <em><strong>moans.</strong></em></p><p>‘Oh my God’, Dean thinks, ‘I’m gonna die for this.’</p><p>It’s a shy, a messy kiss, Sam is clueless and innocent and Dean is full of suppressed desire, full of doubts and self loathing for wanting this. Wanting his brother. <br/>When Dean needs to breathe, he stops for a moment, panting and his whole face feels like it’s burning off his skull. Sam clings onto him, silently moaning, or sobbing? A shaky little mess on his brother’s lap. </p><p>“Dean, it feels like you told me…”, he says, sniffing. “I can feel it.”<br/>“Me, too”, is all he can say right now. </p><p>His body is raging with all the sensations, it’s almost too much to handle. He can feel his hard member pressing against his jeans and also Sam is clearly excited. <br/>Dean presses his forehead on Sam’s, both panting and saying nothing more. Sam’s skin under Dean’s palms is hot and slightly sweaty. <br/>“It’s wrong”, Dean says, he sounds bitter.</p><p>“I don’t care.” </p><p>Sam grips him tighter. “I only want to kiss you. Not Linda. Not anyone else. No one makes me feel like this.”</p><p>They hold each other on this sofa, the world shrinks to the size of their bodies, there’s nothing else. They’re alone and lonely in here. No one matters, only them. And Dean can’t fight what he’s feeling now, what he had started feeling years ago.</p><p>So far, the yearning has only gotten worse. But now it’s found some relief. In Sam’s arms, his panting breath and the sweet moans whenever Dean’s tongue slides in Sam’s warm and eager mouth. <br/>It’s only a matter of time until Sam’s a moaning mess, mouth watering, eyes teary. Humping Dean’s lap. </p><p>‘Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.’</p><p>And then Sam gets up, legs shaky. </p><p>“Please let’s go to bed…” </p><p>Whatever Sam wants. He will get it. </p><p>It's his birthday and Dean is lost in his brother's eyes.</p>
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